


Little Green Men From Mars

by hotchocolatedictator



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Aliens, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26440900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotchocolatedictator/pseuds/hotchocolatedictator
Summary: Ianto's been at Torchwood to no longer believe in little green men from Mars...
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Kudos: 19





	Little Green Men From Mars

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt 'green' in the Torchwood bingo

After a couple of years working for Torchwood, Ianto had seen enough aliens that he no longer thought of them as the ‘little green men from Mars’ of childhood cartoons. If anything, his idea of an alien was now more like a weevil (not surprising really, with how much he dealt with them) - probably angry, with some sort of deadly body feature, and out to kill him. Little green men? Only if they came equipped with some extremely sharp teeth. Or venomous tentacles. Or both.

The Rift, however, clearly thought they deserved a treat.

And that is how Ianto found himself standing by Cardiff Bay, next to Jack, staring at three figures that were about as high as his waist, and a bright green colour.

As far as he could tell, they didn’t have any tentacles.

* * *

'Alright, is the translator working?' 

After a lot of confused discussion in several different languages (seriously, Ianto's pretty sure that at one point everyone involved was speaking a different language), he and Jack managed to get the little green men back to the Hub, where they might actually have the supplies to help them. The species was one neither of them had ever seen before - not even Jack, which was quite a surprise.

‘Don’t ask me, ask them!’ Jack said, and Ianto resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Tosh, Gwen and Owen had gone home for the night, and the little green men who may or may not be from Mars didn’t appear to be enough of a threat to call them back in for. Unfortunately, that meant they didn’t have Tosh’s expertise on the translator. 

‘Can you understand me?’ Ianto asked, addressing the aliens this time.

‘Yes,’ replied one of them - the one standing at the front of the group, who appeared to be the leader.

Ianto breathed out a small sigh of relief, and heard Jack do the same next to him. That was the first hurdle done, at least.

‘Why are you here?’ Jack said, straight to the point. Ianto didn’t blame him - it was sometime approaching midnight, and he wouldn’t mind finishing up fast and going to his bed. Or Jack’s bed. Jack’s bed had the advantage of being a lot nearer.

‘We got lost on the way back to our planet. We hoped to find assistance here,’ the same alien answered.

‘What planet are you from, then?’ Ianto asked, wondering how exactly they would get them home - after all, they couldn’t just turn up at NASA and ask to borrow a rocket.

‘Mars,’ said the alien, and Ianto blinked at that. So the cartoons were right after all. What else had they got right? He couldn’t help but think of Wallace and Gromit going to the Moon to get cheese.

It seemed to make a lot more sense to Jack, though. He gave a little shout and exclaimed, ‘Oh, are you qaatuids?’

The alien - qaatuid - nodded. ‘You know of us?’

‘I’ve heard stories, but I’ve never met your kind before,’ Jack grinned, ‘Truly, it’s an honour.’

‘So, have you any way of getting us home?’

‘Let me see what I can do,’ Jack replied.

* * *

Ianto went to bed after that - in Jack’s bed, admittedly, it had been a long day and he couldn’t face driving. When Jack joined him half an hour later, his only explanation for how he got the qaatuids home was a well placed phone call.

Ianto decided he was too tired to really care, curled up closer to Jack, and fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Comments and kudos are always appreciated


End file.
